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About Varied / Hobbyist Core Member Cedar Woods25/Male/United States Groups :iconeverypony-save-derpy: Everypony-Save-Derpy
 
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I love making art and reading messages.

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Eye of a Wolf by Shilvar
by Shilvar

This photo is very interesting photo, because it lends itself to so many interpretations. The person's eyes seem cold and icy. They don...

Tolerance by Bluefire-Amaterasu

I think this is really sweet pic. I'm straight, but I totally agree that humans need to learn to have more tolerance. Everyone should h...

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Activity


A Collection of Really Dumb Quotes

Journal Entry: Sat Aug 8, 2015, 11:29 PM






Hi there,

Here's a collection of actual dumb quotes and headlines or head scratchers really. Share it with your friends if you want.

"He'll give you the bird's eye view straight from the horse's mouth."

- radio host John McCauley (Clyde 2, UK)

(I don't think pairing two clichéd phrases counts as intelligence)
____
Hussey's - Maine's Largest Department Store: 
Guns, Bibles, Wedding Gowns, Cold Beer

- sign outside store in Windsor, Maine

(All the essentials in one handy location... Change the name though)
____
Warning label on a bottle of aspirin:

DO NOT TAKE IF ALLERGIC TO ASPIRIN

(Read this idiotic line and get a headache from the sheer stupidity)
____
You are invite to visit our restaurant where you can eat the Middle East Foods in a European ambulance

- in a hotel brochure from Ankara Turkey

(Even for people who enjoy fast food, this seems excessive)
_____
Dennett's Wharf on the Watefront, Castine:
We will do your mom for nothing "Again and again" on Mother's Day

- ad for restaurant in Castine Maine

(Do her what? Her taxes? I'm sure she'd be grateful for that)
_____
"Most of us weren't born in America at some point in our lives."

- Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, immigration reform discuss

(I have this feeling most of us were born in China, if stats on population are true)
______
"We don't know what those other [climate change] cycles were caused by in the past. It could have been dinosaur flatulence. Who knows?"

- Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-California) talking about global warming

(My sincerest apologies to all the Jurassic Park fans out there)
_______
Q: How long have you been married to her?

A: Nineteen years.

Q: Is that your only marriage?

A: Yes, it is, that I know of.

- actual courtroom testimony

(Cheating bastard I'll bet)
_____
The sermon this morning:
"Jesus Walks on the Water."

The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."

- from a church bulletin

(Hallelujah! Logic is risen)
______
SILENT PLANE WOULD CUT AIRPORT NOISE

- cnn.com headline

(I never thought of this)
_______
"Come build with me a Temple, not a Tavern, out of the lumber of our lives."

- wedding vow

(I wonder how long till the receiver of these vows just up and shot the giver)
_______
Host of Family Fortunes (UK): "We surveyed a hundred people and asked them to name a way of toasting someone. Michelle?"

Contestant: "Over a fire."

(Let's start with Michelle)
_______
Accomplishments: The Marines is and probably will be the biggest accomplishment I've ever had, even though I wasn't able to join.

Accomplishments: None

- items on actual résumés

(Well at least they're comfortable admitting failure)
_______
Weakest Link host Anne Robinson: "What is the name given to the form of medicine that concerns the health of women?"

Contestant: "Womenology."

(This sounds like it could actually become a real phrase... I'm not poking fun... Oh darn)
______
FOUND. DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. It's been out awhile. No collar. Better be a reward. Call ....

- classified ad in a Baltimore newspaper

(And by God, if there's no reward I'm gonna bread the little rat-bastard and eat it!)
______
Feast of the Superb Owl

- church bulletin listing which should have read "Feast of the Super Bowl")

(I like that... From now on I'm praying to the Superb Owl)
______
Lily of France Bras:

Solid brass handles

Metal suspension with holders

Lock with two keys

- in a department store sales flyer

(I figured out where Lady Gaga gets all her costume ideas)
______
"I might fade into Bolivian."

- boxer Mike Tyson

(One two many hits to the noggin Mike?)

"I scare nothing! Even you become napkins!"

- English subtitle in a Hong Kong Kung-Fu movie

(I have respect for certain Chinese things... Their translators are not one of them)
_______
Circumcision by Appointment

Urogenital Manipulation

Greek Rural Postman and Their Cancellation Numbers

 Bombproof Your Horse

- actual book titles nominated for The Bookseller magazine's oddest titles award

(Ah, the joy of reading)
______

And finally (for now)

"I think-tide turning-see, as I remember-I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of-it's easy to see a tide turn-did I say those words?"

- President George W. Bush

(He might be sober now, but I'm pretty sure he drove plenty of Americans to drink)





  

 





MLP Deal With it Discord Stamp by Kevfin:thumb202933901:BerryDoc Stampu by LoreHoshikoThistle Stampu by LoreHoshikoBerry Stampu by LoreHoshiko

.
  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: Uptown Funk
  • Reading: Hunger Games (well I'm listening to the audiobook)
  • Watching: Shakira Live in Paris, Dralion, The Wolverine, ML
  • Playing: With my dog... With my apps... With myself... IDK
  • Eating: Butterfish, chocolate, pizza, non GMO foods
  • Drinking: Mango juice, pineapple juice, water, milk
I admit I'm curious about Game of Thrones, and I hear it's really well done, but I also know that it has serious amounts of gore and lots and lots of full nudity/sexuality.

My question to the female crowd is, do you think this is a genuinely good show, or does it simply get a lot of attention because guys are promised the sight of breasts and blood in each episode?

Wonderful Day in the Fight for Basic Human Rights

Journal Entry: Fri Jun 26, 2015, 10:45 PM






Today was a terrific victory in the decades long battle for basic civil rights. Such a wonderful feeling. I wish all the best for all the LGBT folks who can now legally enjoy the same benefits of marriage as the heterosexual crowd.

I still believe that marriage is essentially a form of tab-keeping by the government, but today was such a tremendous victory for all the LGBT people I love and support, that I'm gonna overlook that.

Go and make the wedding catering industry happy :) You've like totally earned it.


Oh and The President totally kicked ass with that eulogy also, but I'm not quite as happy about that. It was awesome though :) 

MLP Deal With it Discord Stamp by Kevfin:thumb202933901:BerryDoc Stampu by LoreHoshikoThistle Stampu by LoreHoshikoBerry Stampu by LoreHoshiko

.
  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: Uptown Funk
  • Reading: Hunger Games (well I'm listening to the audiobook)
  • Watching: Shakira Live in Paris, Dralion, The Wolverine, ML
  • Playing: With my dog... With my apps... With myself... IDK
  • Eating: Butterfish, chocolate, pizza, non GMO foods
  • Drinking: Mango juice, pineapple juice, water, milk
Partially Colored Dragon by CedarWoods
Partially Colored Dragon
Feel free to download this image, and add your own unique colors or additions to it. Re-uploads are alright, but link to original would be appreciated. 
Loading...

The 2017 MLP movie will probably be good, but possibly not have a very well thought out plot like Equestria Girls. Given this possibility, which of these special edition releases sounds the most appealing? I imagine an 80 minute theatrical cut 

100%
2 deviants said An extended cut with about 20 minutes added
0%
No deviants said A director's cut with about 20 minutes altered
0%
No deviants said A combo extended-director's cut (20 minutes added, 20 minutes altered)
0%
No deviants said Just leave it alone and pray it doesn't blow as bad as the first Equestria Girls

A Collection of Really Dumb Quotes

Journal Entry: Sat Aug 8, 2015, 11:29 PM






Hi there,

Here's a collection of actual dumb quotes and headlines or head scratchers really. Share it with your friends if you want.

"He'll give you the bird's eye view straight from the horse's mouth."

- radio host John McCauley (Clyde 2, UK)

(I don't think pairing two clichéd phrases counts as intelligence)
____
Hussey's - Maine's Largest Department Store: 
Guns, Bibles, Wedding Gowns, Cold Beer

- sign outside store in Windsor, Maine

(All the essentials in one handy location... Change the name though)
____
Warning label on a bottle of aspirin:

DO NOT TAKE IF ALLERGIC TO ASPIRIN

(Read this idiotic line and get a headache from the sheer stupidity)
____
You are invite to visit our restaurant where you can eat the Middle East Foods in a European ambulance

- in a hotel brochure from Ankara Turkey

(Even for people who enjoy fast food, this seems excessive)
_____
Dennett's Wharf on the Watefront, Castine:
We will do your mom for nothing "Again and again" on Mother's Day

- ad for restaurant in Castine Maine

(Do her what? Her taxes? I'm sure she'd be grateful for that)
_____
"Most of us weren't born in America at some point in our lives."

- Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, immigration reform discuss

(I have this feeling most of us were born in China, if stats on population are true)
______
"We don't know what those other [climate change] cycles were caused by in the past. It could have been dinosaur flatulence. Who knows?"

- Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-California) talking about global warming

(My sincerest apologies to all the Jurassic Park fans out there)
_______
Q: How long have you been married to her?

A: Nineteen years.

Q: Is that your only marriage?

A: Yes, it is, that I know of.

- actual courtroom testimony

(Cheating bastard I'll bet)
_____
The sermon this morning:
"Jesus Walks on the Water."

The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."

- from a church bulletin

(Hallelujah! Logic is risen)
______
SILENT PLANE WOULD CUT AIRPORT NOISE

- cnn.com headline

(I never thought of this)
_______
"Come build with me a Temple, not a Tavern, out of the lumber of our lives."

- wedding vow

(I wonder how long till the receiver of these vows just up and shot the giver)
_______
Host of Family Fortunes (UK): "We surveyed a hundred people and asked them to name a way of toasting someone. Michelle?"

Contestant: "Over a fire."

(Let's start with Michelle)
_______
Accomplishments: The Marines is and probably will be the biggest accomplishment I've ever had, even though I wasn't able to join.

Accomplishments: None

- items on actual résumés

(Well at least they're comfortable admitting failure)
_______
Weakest Link host Anne Robinson: "What is the name given to the form of medicine that concerns the health of women?"

Contestant: "Womenology."

(This sounds like it could actually become a real phrase... I'm not poking fun... Oh darn)
______
FOUND. DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. It's been out awhile. No collar. Better be a reward. Call ....

- classified ad in a Baltimore newspaper

(And by God, if there's no reward I'm gonna bread the little rat-bastard and eat it!)
______
Feast of the Superb Owl

- church bulletin listing which should have read "Feast of the Super Bowl")

(I like that... From now on I'm praying to the Superb Owl)
______
Lily of France Bras:

Solid brass handles

Metal suspension with holders

Lock with two keys

- in a department store sales flyer

(I figured out where Lady Gaga gets all her costume ideas)
______
"I might fade into Bolivian."

- boxer Mike Tyson

(One two many hits to the noggin Mike?)

"I scare nothing! Even you become napkins!"

- English subtitle in a Hong Kong Kung-Fu movie

(I have respect for certain Chinese things... Their translators are not one of them)
_______
Circumcision by Appointment

Urogenital Manipulation

Greek Rural Postman and Their Cancellation Numbers

 Bombproof Your Horse

- actual book titles nominated for The Bookseller magazine's oddest titles award

(Ah, the joy of reading)
______

And finally (for now)

"I think-tide turning-see, as I remember-I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of-it's easy to see a tide turn-did I say those words?"

- President George W. Bush

(He might be sober now, but I'm pretty sure he drove plenty of Americans to drink)





  

 





MLP Deal With it Discord Stamp by Kevfin:thumb202933901:BerryDoc Stampu by LoreHoshikoThistle Stampu by LoreHoshikoBerry Stampu by LoreHoshiko

.
  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: Uptown Funk
  • Reading: Hunger Games (well I'm listening to the audiobook)
  • Watching: Shakira Live in Paris, Dralion, The Wolverine, ML
  • Playing: With my dog... With my apps... With myself... IDK
  • Eating: Butterfish, chocolate, pizza, non GMO foods
  • Drinking: Mango juice, pineapple juice, water, milk

deviantID

CedarWoods's Profile Picture
CedarWoods
Cedar Woods
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I have always enjoyed making art. My primary form of expression is through writing. I plan on working in the screenwriting business someday. I'm a Little Monster, an Olivia Benson fan (a Bensonite?) and a semi-Brony.

Cheers
Interests

Journal History

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconadragonsoul:
ADragonSoul Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch! :D
Reply
:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconevrka:
evrka Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New Deviant Student Digital Artist
thank you so much for the watch :huggle:
hope you enjoy my art! :D
Reply
:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You're quite welcome :) You're very talented.
Reply
:iconyuuike:
yuuike Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahhhh thank you so much for the watch bby:iconmuahplz: I really appreciate it <333

If you like my art feel free to check me out on YouTube ,Tumblr , or Facebook  :iconasdfghbeeplz: //shamelessly advertises LOL
Reply
:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks I will. You're most welcome :)
Reply
:iconice-phoenvi:
Ice-Phoenvi Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2015
 Thank you very much for the watch!
Thank you very much for the support of Ice-Phoenvi/Phoenix Pheasant!
:iconletmehugyouplz:
Phoenix
Reply
:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome very much.
Reply
:iconjellymii:
Jellymii Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2015
Thank you so so much for watching me! :iconheartrollplz:
Reply
:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're most welcome :)
Reply
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